Wednesday, 31 July 2013

Downward Sprial

Weds 31st July 13st 13lbs +1lb :( **WARNING** This aint no happy posting Another bad stressful week, when I stress i eat and thats what Ive dne, ate completely off plan and ive suffered again, Its been really hard and I pretty much had a breakdown and so decided to go get some counselling again and basically start from scratch in regards to the eating, Found some great recipes so going to try them out this weekend for sure. The only upside of this week is I pissed myself off so much I pushed so hard and knocked some time off my 5k from 28:15 to 27:31 Sorry there's no joy or wit, just not feeling it right now

Tuesday, 23 July 2013

one step forward...three steps back

Weds 24th July 2013 - 13st 12 +3lbs :( I made bad choices this past weekend, i decided to give myself a few days off and have suffered the consequences for my decision, again im back to my normal ways of eating healthy again and exercising but for four silly days I took my eyes off the prize and slipped back once again into bad ways....why do i do this? Im a stress eater and boy there's been enough of that this week, i turned to the nemesis, my kryptonite....CARBS!!!! And it made me feel crappy and lethargic and yet i still did it anyway, that tiny voice telling me "ahhh screw it", but it was these habits that got me into this state in the first place. I know some people will be quite smug when they see I gained three pounds as Im always harping on about eating's quite sad that isnt it that people you consider "friends" would wish you to fail...but that's the harsh reality. Im in desperate need of a training partner , a buddy who will check in on me and keep me focused , who'll come run with me. In other devastating news i must say RIP to were there through the good and bad times, you worked hard and provided me with so much delicious lean mean food, rest in peace my george grill, dont be mad when I replace you with a younger,hotter model.

Wednesday, 17 July 2013


Weds 17th July 2013 13st 9lbs (-2lbs) 6 st 11 lbs/95loss in total Pound by pound i'm doing this but it's hard work. I found myself slipping back into my old mindset the day after my birthday, i was tired and aching after a busy weekend volunteering and I was craving bad food...and I gave in....But as I sat there eating the fear crept in Did I seriously want to do that to myself and go back into old habits and end back at square one? HELL NO!! So I threw the junk food in the bin (i know I shouldn't waste food but it was the best place for it) and went about my day as normal. I felt so guilty for even letting my mnd slip back even if just for a few hours. I was put firmly back in my place when i watched "Fat:The fight of my life" hosted by the amazing Jessie Pavelka, he's such an amazing trainer and coach. Ben the guy on there reminded me so much of myself and my struggle and it really gave me the kick to stay on track. There's 23 pounds to go...just 23!! I CAN SO DO THIS....I havent come this far to just screw it upor give up at the last hurdle. VICTORY WILL BE MINE!!!

Tuesday, 9 July 2013

You better RECOGNISE!!!!!!

Weds 10th July 2013 13st 11lbs (+1 lb ) So after the mini blog I kicked myself into gear and my overall gain this week was only a pound. HOWEVER I will for the record state that that doesn't make it ok, I really got myself into bad eating habits again and thats not good for my body,progress or my state of mind, I NEVER want to go back to how I was. So the moral of the story is be prepared and yes don't always be polite and just agree to eat anything, make the right healthy choices for you!! Luckily a nice mini english heatwave has arrived and so the war weather only ever makes me want to eat salads and meats so I'm helping myself out majorly, I definitely need some more fruit in my life but always find i either really love it or really hate it, going to start making frozen fruit smoothies So my birthday is finally upon us this weekend and I've hit my mini target of being as close to healthy as possible by the time I'm 35. This is a proud achievement thats for sure. I know for a fact Ive not been this light since 2006 thats 7 bloody years Ive spent wrecking my body....makes me think long and hard about things thats for sure. I'll also be running my Cancer Research Race for Life 5K on my birthday with a slightly dodgy hamstring, if i have to crawl across the finish line I WILL be finishing it no matter what. Had some amazing donations and smashed my donation target. Just hoping if I can run I can pull a decent time, would like to get into the 27 min zone for sure, I'll giv eit everything I have thats for sure. My fave (good) foods this week Homemade banana ice cream Turkey burgers with mushrooms onions and peppers Hummus and carrots The ever faithful raw snack EVER!!!

Monday, 8 July 2013

MIni blog required

SO ive had three days eating off plan and teh scales have not been forgiving, its made me see how bad shit food really is for you, cant say i particularly enjoyed any of it, it was just for convenience through a busy weekend but lesson well and truly learned and I'm on it like a car bonnet once again off to training shortly in this luscious heat!!! with a dodgy hammy that im praying holds out till sunday when I do my bday 5K!! I know im quite rambly tonight but just had to do this and get it out of my head before i exploded with disappointment.

Tuesday, 2 July 2013

The final push

3rd July 2013 - 13 st 10lbs 6 st 10/94 lb loss so far
So maybe I feel a bit like Jack Bauer on this mission right now...there's 24 lbs to go!! My motivation calendar this month says "FINAL COUNTDOWN, just take it day by day,pound by pound,the finish line is in sight!! FOCUS!! My focus is back, even after having a day off and eating party food at a works event...which by the way made me feel like crap for two days afterwards, i refuse to put my body through that again, Ive actually realised how much happier i am physically mentally and internally by continuing to make healthy choices. Inspiration??? Me?? The past few weeks Ive had a few people tell me they are inspired by my journey, had a bit of a cry over that because that's been my other mini goal to not only inspire myself but if I could even inspire just one other person to make the decision to work to a healthier them then my work is done. I am finally proud of my journey and not ashamed of my past. I think if I read back through some of my posts Im pretty certain I said i'd be happy at a size 4, well im here and now I want to be a size 12 lol, I keep getting the "you dont need to lose anymore weight" "Youre too thin" "Hi Skinny minny"......lets remember that as much as I have achieved I'm still not in a healthy weight zone and so I continue on until I am. Food ideas: So been asked a lot about what I eat heres a typical day Breakfast 6 am - two rashers of bacon and 2 eggs scrambled or boiled Snack 9.30 am - an apple and ten raw almonds Lunch 12.30 - generally what was made the night before so a chicken salad, salmon and mashed sweet potatoes with onion,peppers and mushrooms, my nutty curry Snack 3 pm - an apple and ten raw almonds / 2 tsps peanut butter and an apple Dinner - chicken salad, salmon and mashed sweet potatoes with onion,peppers and mushrooms, my nutty curry, prawns and veggies. Essential items Smoke Paprika Frozen ginger,garlic,coriander,red chillies - these are a life saver and so convenient to use Organic wholemeal no added sugar peanut butter - its delicious Granny smith apples So its also countdown to my birthday in 11 days and also my 5k run for Cancer research, Im in the best shape of my life so hoping I can get a pretty decent time ran, with about 2000 other ladies doing it I think I can definitely push myself harder to get across the finish line quicker and raise some money for an amazing cause. I definitely need new trainers but alas Nike Adidas or Aasics dont hear my plea.....damn you lol

Thursday, 13 June 2013

Them milestones fall like dominoes

June 13th 2013 13st 12lbs - 5 lb loss this week 6st 8lb (92lbs) loss in total
*Does the happy dance* yessssssssssssss, My days do I feel GOOD!! This is a victory Ive really been dying to get to. I'm a numbers person and getting under 14 stone and into a size 14 is a massive milestone for me, i truly can fit in clothes in ANY shop now...talking of which I need to buy all new clothes AGAIN...on a budget of zero :( still need new trainers too, the ones I want are £55.00 so need to somehow figure that into my budget, ive got nothing left to sell...unless I count my body and im sure as hell not doing that lol SO yeah all upbeat and positive , I officially have 1st 12lbs/26lbs left to go so Im hoping I'll definitely get ther by xmas so that I can buy my xmas present to myself :)

Sunday, 9 June 2013


June 9th 2013 14st 2 (199 lbs) 6st3lbs /87 lbs) weight loss so far I DID IT!!!!!, yes by the skin of my teeth but I finally hit one-derland and thats THE best feeling in the world ever!!.... Time of the month screwed up my plan for a bigger loss but you cant control these things so im happy for my loss. This week I started strongman training with the guys, I've been doing it on my own for a while now with my trainer Toby but it's a whole different ball game when men get involved, they're so competitive, especially when a girl throws her hat in the ring and gives as good as them lol. It was really hard and intense but I really enjoyed it, my arms are really toning now, just need to sort my stomach as thats still taking FOREVER to sort . NOTE TO SELF: Map your new runs before you go out, otherwise you'll be running a lot further than you anticipate

Wednesday, 29 May 2013

Almost there at that magic milestone

29/05/2013 14 st 4lbs/200lbs - 86lb(6 st 2lb) weight loss so far Sorry for negelcting myself as no one else reads this lol Had a couple of frustrating weeks where I only lost a pound even though I was working out like crazy....sick of hearing muscle weighs heavier than ONE POUND of muscle weighs exactly teh same as ONE POUND of fat!!! Anyway I digress , Not only did i hit the six stone milestone last week, this week ive hit 200 lbs which will take me into one-derland next week Dont think i've been so determnined and focused than I am right now Got a tweet from Danni from the Biggest loser s14 today that really spurred me on even more, I want to be as close to target by Xmas My target keeps changing in my moind the closer I get to where I think I want to be, im thinking less in terms of weight and more by actual clothes size, i'd like to be a UK size 12 and im already moving towards being in a 14 so just gotta keep up the hard work The photo ive attached is the start of my journey with Toby my trainer on 25/11/2013 to 27/05/2013 six months of hard working and Low GI has done that Seriously if anyone does read this just know if I can do it anyone can And nike/Adidas/asics if youre reading this im broke as hell and need new sports gear that nice and hook me up :)

Wednesday, 8 May 2013


May 8th 14st 8lb (-2 lb last week, -3lb this week) 5 st 12lb/82lb so far Its getting closer the magic SIX STONE mark...soooo exciting, ive gotta get this two pound off next week and hit this mini mile stone and then the week after try get another 3 to hit ONEDERLAND!!!! I feel extremely positive right now, my hard work is haing positive effects in all aspects of my life and I'm loving that, I cant remember the last time I weighed this weight, we are talking a good 6 years ago easily. Temptations arent even temptations any will power is so strong, ive never known my determination to be so vibrant and powering me through all this. I keep seeing everything like the track at the more more, keep pushing one more....trying to get an athletes mentality, i know the body is a way off yet but its mind over matter, have to stay positive and focused. discovered a love for rowing again, it was my least favourite cardio due to my rubbish co ordination but both that and my balance have got so much better Strongman training is insane and i get to start training with the boys in a few weeks, its gonna be brilliant!!

Saturday, 27 April 2013

Smashing through the mini milestones

April 27th 14 st 13lbs - 2lb loss this week 77 in total YESSSSSSSS mini milestones done, get to 5 st 7 loss AND go down into teh next stone, i'm 9lbs away from getting into ONEderland too which will also send me into a six stone loss...thats the next mini milestones :) I also managed to shave 1 min 52 secs off my 5k time im now sub 30 (29 mins 50 secs) , really enjoying running again, definitely prefer it outdoors rather than the treadmill, the treadmill just bores me lol but I really want to get my time to a decent time, dont want to show myself up at my Race For Life event in July. Food's going ok, trying to change it up a little bit, chicken is getting expensive going to have to try and cut a deal with a local butcher me thinks lol New Cardio playlist now featuring #willpower by the whole thing is just perfect for a running playlist...go grab it :)

Saturday, 20 April 2013

No looking back

20th April 2013 - 15 st 1 lb - 3 lb loss this week 75 lb in total Annnnnnnnndddd it's all good again, back back back, its nice to feel human again and get myself back in the zone properly, back to training and eating properly. Got to run out on the athletics track today and it felt really good, cant wait till im picking up some decent times on there but for now I'll take it as it is Ran my first proper 5k in a while this week 31 mins 42 secs...need to get sub 30 mins asap, thats my aim for my Race for life in July. I think I need new trainers again, theyre starting to feel funny so really should invest in new ones...helllooo Nike outlet lol Its been an interesting week , ive been getting a lot of messages asking me for tips and advice or generally just really nice congratulations messages , ive seen some people i havent seen in a long time and they didnt recognise me, that still feels a bit weird cos I still see myself as that bigger person, catch a glimpse of me and remember it's ME in the reflection and it still freaks me the hell out aggghhhh Would still like Nike or Adidas to read this and send me sme new sports gear...would really appreciate it!!!

Friday, 12 April 2013

dont let the bed bugs bite!!!

Friday April 12th (weighed on Weds) 15st 4 stayed the same So I've had the most ungodly throat infection and general feeling that totally ko'd me for 10 whole days. My eating wasnt on plan the whole time and there was zero exercising but somehow I'm here still the same. I couldnt wait to get back in the gym, i genuinely miss my training now. Im just so glad that now im in the right frame of mind that I can just jump straight back into living and eating how I should be. I ate bread last week and it tore me up, I really didnt enjoy it at all, definitely not worth it....and even reading that I just typed that is crazy as I used to live off so much bread...once you stop having things you truly get to see how bad they are for you. In other news this week I'd like to thank Paramore for their kick ass new album which has just hyped up my cardio playlist. I dont have any owrs of wisdom this week just thought I better to check myself...cos no one else reads this lol

Monday, 1 April 2013


01/04/2013 15 st 4 - stayed same (72lb loss so far) Its been one of those weeks, worked hard but stayed the same, i'm kind of getting used to this happening every now and then. Its been a hard week as I've got a throat infection, pretty certain sugar filled medicines aren't going to help diet wise but its necessary to stop the fire in my throat. No idea what the scales will read this week but Im really proud of myself....didn't touch an easter egg...for the first time in my 34 year existence and that right there is a major achievement...i don't NEED and easter egg, I don't NEED to treat myself, my treat is sticking to this plan and ensuring that I continue on my journey in a positive manner. Been an interesting week, Im getting asked a lot of advice on what im doing training wise, how im taking care of myself diet wise and its just confirmed to me that i really want to be a personal trainer and nutritionist once ive hit target. I really think I can help others on their yeah that's the plan domination and that lol EDIT: wicked little ab workout im doing twice a day

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

What would Jillian Michaels do?

Weds 20th March 15st 4lbs (2lb loss this week , 72 in total) So Im happy as its the first time in a while I've actually lost during TOTM so that's a blessing. My training has been great although Toby nearly killed me off with strongman training on's become apparent that I hate tyre flips, every time I'm losing the will to continue with them I just hear Jillian Michaels screaming in my ear "IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT, YOU"RE PATHETIC" and off I go again. Speaking of the biggest loser, the latest season has been amazing and a big congrats to Danni Allen. I knew from day one she would win purely because of her attitude, I love her determination, she really touched a nerve with me , we are very similar in our all or nothing mentalities. So next mini targets are lose 5lb to get down into the next stone, lose 15 lb to hit wonderland, im giving myself till the end of April for the 15 thats 5 weeks so 3lbs a week SHOULD be achievable, im gonna give it my everything!! So finally its pay day which has meant a lot of prep and planning. I've set myself aside £200 a month for food. £100 is my big shop where i buy all my meats and big essentials. I bought a chest freezer so I can freeze all my meats and frozen veggies. Then i have £25 (£20 if its a 5 week month) to buy fresh veggies and fruit each week. This is really helping me as money is tight and I have to budget everything :( SO in the budget this month is SPorts gear as I can no longer turn up to the gym in what Im wearing , its just not right to continue to wear the gear i wore 5 stone ago so off to sports direct and nike outlet I go...just wish sports bras werent so damn expensive :(

Wednesday, 13 March 2013

I demand a recount

Weds 13th March 15 st 6 (70lb loss 5 stone) Ok so last week I couldnt count....THIS WEEK ive actually hit my 5 stone mini target and so impressed as my hamstring is still playing up despite the gentle exercise and on payday me thinks So I'm trying its of new recipes this week BBC good food has some wicked low GI recipes, I made their nutty chicken curry and its delicious. Also used my new slow cooker so happy I get to come home and hey presto dinner is served :) still being called "skinny" and its still annoying me...yes ive lost a load of weight but I'm not skinny at 15 st 6 am I??? I am getting a lot of people notice my loss now,but you know when you just cant see it the same as everyone else? ....Is THAT really me now???

Tuesday, 5 March 2013


WEDS 6TH MARCH 2013 15st 9lb (71 lb loss) YEAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *DOES A LITTLE DANCE* so This week Ive worked so fricking hard and it's paid off , lost 6lb and hit that magic 5 stone onto the next one ....BRING IT ON!! I've increased my exercise and my food is spot on and the extra exercise is making all the difference. Other milestone this week was getting into a UK 16, after being a size 22/24 this is just amazing, I can now shop at so many more shops and trust me I need to as I have a wardrobe of clothes that just don't fit me at all.......any nice people want to give me some free sports gear??? So thats a photo of my progress so far...yes I am proud of myself Playlist of the week: Prodigy - no good (start to dance) Fatman scoop - Be faithful David Guetta - every song he's pretty much done Paramore - Misery business Jessie J - laserlight Alex Clare - too close Beyonce - Rune the world (girls) Prince - I would die for you

Wednesday, 27 February 2013

The next mini milestone

27th Feb 2013 16st 1lb stayed the same Oh the joyous time of the month getting used to you but you dot half piss me off!!! Im not letting it get to me too much because i'm in the zone, on a mission and ready for the next milestone....a 5K in aid of Cancer research on my 35th Birthday this July. I've been volunteering for Cancer research for four years now and i've never felt healthy enough to actually ever take part but now i'm ready for the challenge. I've been doing a run once a week to get me going and my time is ok but by July I want to be able to do my 5k in under 30 mins...its totally achievable as long as I stay injury free. This week Toby the destroyer has introduced me to the strong an work outs, i was flipping tyres, pulling weight sledges, sprinting, whipping heavy ropes into shape and other such fun....I really really loved it, I think its the new thing for me, I find it a challenge but one i really like Things I'd like : Everyone to donate at least £1 for y race for life The sexual new Adidas boost trainers ...anyone wanna give me £110 or a free pair? A pair of running spikes Sports gear that fits

Saturday, 23 February 2013

Gents avert your eyes

Feb 20th 2013 16st 1lb 1 lb gain :( I genuinely DETEST being a woman, time of teh month completely throws me off the game. I stick 100% to plan and work out like a mofo yet still i gan anything between 1 and 4 pounds...and even though I should just accept this now it truly pees me off every month. Its been another testing week personally and Im really proud in the fact that despite the stress I havent strayed off plan or exercise. Circuit training stops in a few weeks and i need something equally as gruelling and punishing to replace it. I actually really emjoy the classes..I just cant bring myself to do spinning...i'd rather eat marmite!!! So on the positive I went and bought new jeans this week, its so nice to buy them in a size beginning with a 1 rather than a 2, just gotta make my way down the sizes now. Ive got a week off work and play nurse lady to the mrs who's had a little op but it gives me the chance to really research food and recipes and get some new ideas. Fave dish at the moment is definitely grilled chicken with greens and broccoli, hummus is also my fave snack So i'll be doing lots of running this week as i'm staying with the Mrs , its very hilly where she lives, this will be quite the challenge lol

Sunday, 17 February 2013

Help Wanted

So heres the thing that annoys me the most...Celebs getting free stuff all the time...for being RICH and able to afford to buy their own stuff. What else is annoying is this, I'd like a little help and reward for my hard work so here I am begging like a bitch to Nike, Reebok, Adidas, basically anyone who will read this. Im trying to inspire a generation following on from our olympic and paralympic athletes, im not going to win a gold medal in anything or be famous I just want my generation and the the generations to come to know its not too late to sort yourselves out, its not to late to start again, admit defeat,admit you need help...and you know what it can be done, through hard work and percerverance...i'm actual testament to that, you can read my previous entries...this has been a battle for me for sometime but its a battle i'm winning and now I need help None of my work, casual or sports gear fits at all, I look like I robbed MC Hammers pants thinking that in 2013 its fashionable again. I got myself into a lot of debt a few years back and i've finally cleared some of that but have a way to go, so i budget every month to be able to pay for my training with Toby and just buy food in general...there's no allowance here for new sports gear, which i desperately need, i want to remain on the right path...yes some may say a trainer is a luxury...he costs me £100 a month but its £100 a month i'm not spending at dominoes or mcdonalds...i believe you get out what you put in and i'm putting all my hard work and yes some of my money to ensure that I have a future, a healthy future SO let me be your spokesperson Nike..Reebok..Adidas...a real human being who is doing everything in her power to do the right thing, make healthy choices and make my life better...i'm making it count, i'm all in.....are you there for me??

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Return of the mack

13th Feb 2013 16st total weight loss since Jan 2012... 4 st 10 lbs (66lbs) Here we are AGAIN , I've been silent on my quest for a while as needed to really get my he'ad back in the game...split with partner and had the realisation that it truly is time to concentrate on me. And I have a new perspective , a new trainer and a new eating plan.....So long slimming world I no longer can tolerate your ways...granted it works for some and did for me in the past, however,now I'm following Lowgi and we are the perfect partner. I'm a geek so the science behind lowgi made perfect sense to me. I'm training 3/4 times a week, Dropping on.average a dress size every six for my wallet but awesome for my wasteline.... So now I'll be sharing recipes,random thoughts,rants and other stuff that begin with R

Wednesday, 23 May 2012

You Can't always get what you want

23rd May 17st 3lb - 3st 3lb/45lb loss I know I know I lost 2lb this week which is great BUT I'm disappointed, I worked my arse off in the gym this week and stayed 100% on plan and was thinking it would be 3 or 4 pounds. I have to be positive im 5 pounds off losing 50 lbs which is pretty bloody good!!! Im on a good path and 2 pounds a week would be 104 lbs in a year....pretty bloody special infact I take it back a 2lb loss in GREEEEAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Sunday, 20 May 2012


20th May 17st 4 lbs - 43 lb /3st 1 lbs loss so far Completely forgot to write in my blog, works been ridiculously busy but luckily ive been keeping at it food and gym wise. My new focus is my 6.15am gym sessions, i'm loving them so much , not only are they keeping me on track but I then I have the most entertaining gym buddies....the old one armed pensioner pimp who chats up all the pensioner ladies on the treadmill every morning, the meat head weights dudes who spend more time posing in the mirror than lifting weights, the girls who wear full make up and do two mins on each machine and refuse to sweat because (and i quote) There's no way i'm doing my make up again before work.....oh the endless fun THat alone is half the motivation to keep going. I'm still keeping up the running, I really want to do my 5k, i just find myself getting bored on the treadmill rather than the fact i cant run longer, i used to love running but I've lost that loving do you fall back in love with it?? My body shape is changing so much however, my puppies/lady rack/breasticles are not getting smaller and its slightly depressing as i'd be down another two sizes in tops if they'd just go away!!! So thats my update, I will try to keep writing more often, even if for my own sanity.

Wednesday, 2 May 2012

The good the bad and the fugly

2nd May 17st st 8 So i didnt blog last week, id got down to 17st 4 and then Ive been away in Scotland and put 4 lbs on...I find it hard when Im away to stick to it, I think i just give up and i really shouldn't, i need to put in the same amount of hard work and determination as I do when I'm home. I guess the routine keeps me motivated while I'm at home. So ive been back at the gym the past two days and upped my cardio, im off work till next Tuesday so ive been enjoying going to the gym at my own leisure and not trying to squeeze a session in before work. Managed to up my running in the treadmill and my hamstrings arent giving me any trouble so far....stretching is the key!!I really want to manage 10 mins running non stop im up to 5 mins walk, 5 mins run, two mins walk and two mins run ,six mins walk, as I go along Im gonna up my running...who knows maybe i'll get to do my 5 k by the end of the race for life season. Kind of wishing I had a Jillian Michaels to keep me going and push me harder in the gym, need to start working n my arms to, start toning, half tempted to talk to the meat heads in the gym get some tips, i want nice muscly arms but not to the point i look like Jodie marsh when she went all body builder. Food wise just found a healthy falafel recipe so gonna try them out so Ive got something nice to go with my salads I constantly need new recipes or i get bored Any ideas would be welcome

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Drawing a line under it

!8th March 17st 7 maintaining 41 lb loss

So the holiday came and went but happy to report so did the weight i'd put on ...*smiley face kiss kiss a la davina*

Ive bitten the bullet and joined my local gym, was a bit sceptical at first as the area I live in isnt the best but its a great gym, the machines all have tv's in them(if u like that sort of thing..i'd rather have my tunes), they are well looked after and all the facilities are dead clean.

Ive opted to start going before work so there I am every morning 615 am on the dot in the gym with the golden oldies, meat heads and office workers trying to get their gym on!!

Ive been doing all my stretches and taking care not to overdo it, even managed to run for a few minutes aim is to run 5k non stop by the summer...fingers crossed

So the outlook is super positive!!

Onwards and upwards peeps

Wednesday, 4 April 2012

Bunny's gonna get ya!!!

4th April 17st 7 41 lb(2 st 13lb loss)

So I lost 4lbs this week, i'm over the moon and a bit surprised. I had been beating myself up all weekend that i'd done my points wrong but I hadn't!! Sometimes I need to chill out.

My lovely new trainers are completely broken in now, cant wait to start running again properly.

The big test is this weekend ...EASTER!!! Usually my favourite time of year but with being away this weekend im half dreading it, I know I cant control the cooking ***MUST NOT SPAZ OUT***

I really want to hit my 3st target so i'm gonna do the best I can to ensure I do that this week

Over and out chums

Wednesday, 28 March 2012

The road to nowhere

28th March 17st 11 stayed the same

In the words of Ballotelli "WHY ALWAYS ME"....Seriously though im happy with that as its TOTM and Ive not been able to go out running thanks to a freshly pulled hamstring *note to self stretch properly you daft bint*

I was looking forward to joining the gym but the pennies are still not allowing it so Im pulling my bike out of the bike store and trying that out for a while.

Ive really struggled internally this week with the goal I set myself that I now know I wont hit. Sometimes i put too much pressure on myself. Im currently freaking out as we are away next weekend for Easter and I wont be in control of the cooking or the meals, Im not comfortable with leaving it in someone elses hands for four days. Ive got to somehow let go of this and accept I cant always be in control. Im actually laughing at myself whilst typing this, its completely ridiculous to be like this but im still gonna probably ending up freaking out all week.

The mind is a marvelously messed up thing!

Wednesday, 21 March 2012

may the odds be ever in my favour

22/3/2012 17st 11 - 37lb loss

Another good week, i started jogging and have pulled my hamstring but I wont let it defeat me, I'll join the gym on sunday once Ive rested my leg from the jogging,still going out for long walks though, gotta keep on going.

Id set myself a target of 4st(56 lbs) to lose by 23rd on the right path but im thinking its more likely to be 3.5 stone (49 lbs) I have to be realistic and dont want to push myself too hard only to be disappointed.....any loss is good now i'm definitely in the right mind frame to continue this ever challenging journey.

Inspiration to keep going: David Guetta's new album, Jessie and Amy Mac from the biggest loser tweeting me messages of support(if they can do it so can i),reading all the support i get on minimins and all the stories of others journeys.

SO thats all anyone reading lol...i think this is more for my own sanity more than anything

Saturday, 17 March 2012

Here we go again

That ever up and down roller coaster that is me weight loss journey has had a ridiculously amounts of downs.

Last time i wrote was last May I was doing so well and it went down hill from there. Flash forward to Jan 1st 2012 hit an all time high of 20 st 6. So Ive been working hard and lost 34 lbs so far im down to 18 st as of Weds March 14th. This time im back at slimming world, just doing it from home and really got back into the swing of things, finances are not great so I cant afford to go to class but its fine, ive found a great support web forum that keeps me up on all the latest info and thousands of recipes and chat with people who are in the same boat.

I finally get to go back to the gym on Wednesday after paying a few things up. Only problem now is all my gym gear is too big lol , i desperately need new sports bras trainers and shorts..ive tried begging to Nike via twitter....I live in hope lol

So for now its time to be at the beginning,my mind set is there,ive reread all my old blogs for some more motivation, just gonna take it one day at a time

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

You can't change the past

29/05/11 17st 6lb - 2lb gain - 33 lbs lost in total

Hi everyone
Well as you can see I had a gain this week, I did ok up until Thursday but it went downhill from then, I went away for the weekend and the choices were limited but I chose all the wrong ones, but hey ya know what I'm human and I was straight back in the gym tonight and got punished by my trainer with a great boxing session, it was hard and painful but a good punishment.

Im home and making dinner and trying to think positive and get some motivation.I'm not lying i'm struggling but I will get there.I really will

Monday, 9 May 2011

Pit stop

9th May 2011 - 17st 4lbs - maintaining 35lbs loss

I've had 10 days away from the gym thanks to the flu,i've happily maintained as i've not been fit for anything other than sleeping and vegging!!! But it's all good I'm back in the gym today and it killed me and i sweat a tonka truck full but it was so worth it!!

The eating went a bit wayward for a few days but ive settled back into eating strictly again. I thought it would be sad to say I missed fruit but thats a good thing indeed. I'm glad its melon season again (no pun intended!) My taste buds have totally gone off kiwi fruit though, I used to love them but they just taste like smush nowadays.

I remain being the queen of quorn!!! Wish it wasnt so bloody expensive though, I spend a good £10 a week on the stuff if not more. It's ace stuff if you've not tried it i recommend that you do. The meatballs and sausages are my particular fave but with the mince you really cant tell any difference when making a good old spag bol or chilli.

I have precisely a month to lose another 7-10 lbs thats my mini target for Katies bday bash, i'd like some new jeans!!!

I think I will be tested this weekend again, I'm off to carlisle to radio ones big weekend, giving it large with all the cool kids and perving on Jessie J, fergie from BEP and Ellie Goulding...def NOT scherzinger though uggghh. Anyway I digress, going to look for some nice places to eat so I can attempt to pre plan my meals. Planning is definitely the way forward. I wish I had someone to do all my meals for me everyday and just put the food infront of me then i'd never eat bad again, when i'm left to my own devices i tend to stray from time to time,but I'm getting better at it :)

Well thats all for this week kids, wish me luck for my next week ahead

Tuesday, 26 April 2011

And I would like to thank

26/04/11 17st 4lb - maintained 35 lb loss

Firstly I am thankful for my 35lb loss that helped my fat ass run through Euston Yesterday to get an early train without wanting to collapse and die!!

This week I am also thankful for my self control. It was a tough weekend but I made smart choices, yes I had a tiny piece of chocolate and the insides of a pasty (katie had the pastry) and some crisps and bread but I balanced it off with walking into the next town up the steep hills, it was quite the exercise I tell you. I recommend you all move to St Austell and attack them hills surrounded by beautiful scenery.

I struggled a bit on Easter Sunday I felt guilty for what I'd eaten and was really snappy so decided to take the long walk and clear my head, i just thought its ok im doing great and look i'm out doing something about it, it's ok to have the odd day off.

I would also like to thank my new cardio playlist for kicking my ass and keeping me motivated:

im always trying to find extra motivation and new tiny goals and my new one is June 10th. Its my ladies birthday and I want to be down into the next dress size for that for sure,celebrate in style.

Well anyway hope you have a good week, all eight of you..including the random in Jordan who is reading...reveal yourselves, leave me a comment.

Monday, 18 April 2011

The guilt of saying No

18/04/11 17 st 4lb 3 lb loss this week 35 in total

for someone who deals with numbers everyday i cant add up properly lol. When i first started this journey I was 19 st 10 so thats 2 st 7 now = 35 pounds

On this little journey this time I was 18st st 11 lb so now im 1 st 7lb or 21 pounds if you will

Ok thats clear in my mind now sorry guys!!

So anyways first tip of the day, really do weigh yourself at the same time every week(or however often you weigh yourself) your weight fluctuates in the day. I'm feeling very happy with my weight progress now its been 1st 7 in what 5 weigh ins now and thats really good process that averages at 4.2 pounds a week - way more than the average weight loss which is 1-2 pounds a week. My gym sessions are getting better and im slowly increasing my intensity, which im allowed to now as the hamstrings are getting stronger. In just over 3 weeks I can start jogging agin and i'm so sad I know but I know that I drop weight so much better when I run.

My eating is so much better but I know I have a hurdle this week. I'm going to my mums for Easter. Its so hard to control what you can eat and to say no. My mum makes the most lavish easter lunches and I just didnt want to upset her by saying no to the food, but I have to stay on track I dont want to step backward. So i just bit the bullet and called her and she was great about it, I over worry sometimes. I just now how bad the temptations will be especially with it being easter, a chocoholics heaven. But I'm determined to stay on track.

It IS hard, its still a daily battle but I am get there and I am determined to carry on, just cant wait until I can start seeing a drastic difference, going down another dress size and being able to once again shop in any shop.

Monday, 11 April 2011

its okay not to be okay

Monday 11th April - 17st 7 ....1lb loss 31 in total

I Guess its another off but im not happy, today has been a really hard down day for me. I still managed to drag myself to the gym when in all honestly all i wanted to do was come home cry and eat pizza. I know ive lost 1 st 4 in 4 weeks but thats not good enough for me, i know i can do better. a pound a week is failure for me, just need to be more focused and well less stressed to be fair, but im being tested at work and im trying not to let it effect me too much.

Had to cut my exercise right down because of my hamstrings but the good news on that front is they are doing much better and im swimming too now and not hitting the gym 4 consecutive days i'm breaking it up and giving my body a rest, ive not been able to exercise at the intensity i would like to because its hurt too much so i guess thats why ive slowed right down too

i dont know its just a bad day i feel really emotional and down and would like the world to swallow me up quite frankly

Brushing my hair, do I look perfect?
I forgot what to do to fit the mould , yeah!
The more I try the less it's working yeah yeah yeah
Cause everything inside me screams, "no,no,no,no..."

Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars!
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay

Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart.
But tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
There's nothing wrong with who you are!

Monday, 4 April 2011

just keep swimming

April 4th 2011, 17 st 8 -1lb this week -30 in total

Ladies will appreciate when I say its star week so a pound off is pretty damn good, got a new cardio list to keep me going in the gym (muchas gracias bella JLO!!!). Although i think i slightly confused the muslim ladies dressed head to toe on the treadmill when i rocked in sporting my new ubershort hair,sleeveless tshirt and basketball shorts...if you didnt know i was gay before you will now lol

been looking through my slimming world recipes and found loads of new food to eat which is good as i end up eating all the same things and then get soooo bored. My confidence is creeping up each day although i still hate the way i look, but hey we all have our hang ups dont we and well i guess a positive to take is that im working very hard to be a better healthier me.

so more gym session,new recipes and the impending arrival of my wonderful lady (shes movs here in june) i think im gheading to a good place and I like that.

Monday, 28 March 2011

brutally honest

28/03/2011 17 st 9 - 4lb loss

So here we are another week along and another loss, its been pretty hard this week, I'm brutally honest as many of you will know, i have changed from eating really bad bad unhealthy food in the skip load, to lots and lots of healthier food,I'm a big eater and i dont think that will change.

I was tested so bad this weekend, i was home and bored and my housemate had bakes loads of indian snacks...pakoras,bhajis,samosas...anyone who knows me knows thats like crack to me!!! No one was in the house and they were just staring at me and i reached towards them and shouted at myself, GARSIDE WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? i reached into the fridge and grabbed a yoghurt and another drink. That was a proud moment for me,I'm trying step by stepto better my life again and get back on track. And slowly i'm doing that I've still got a long way to go I know this but you know i'm gonna do it.

Monday, 21 March 2011


So after i wrote my blog last week i went to the gym and faced the scales 18 st 11, i wanted to cry, i really did, in front of everyone in the leisure centre, but I didn't I took a deep breath and thought "well you're here now you might as well do something about it" So i did a gym session and bumped into my old trainer Kelly and arranged new sessions. And then I went on wednesday and thursday and again on sunday (i chilled on friday and saturday unlike craig david cos that's how i roll!) I just didn't think about it, I just went did what i needed to and came home again and made dinner and didn't think too much about i. If i start to analyze it then I'll stop going to the gym, I've just so easily slipped back into eating healthy again.

Breakfast has been the key, and as much as i detest the stuff oatmeal is my new best friend, 1 lil sachet with some milk and it sets me off for the day.

So today I was at the docs for my sinuses which have been driving me crazy and i popped on the scales and it was 17st 13 I want to rejoice and think yay ive lost 12 lb but part of me thinks the gym scales were just so wrong in the first place, not that i doubt my hard work just don't know if my loss is that big. Guess i'll just wait till the gym scales are fixed and try again there, they wil be my constant weighing source, cant exactly pop into the docs every week can i??

So yes progression in so many ways this week...onwards and onwards I go!!

Monday, 14 March 2011


Wow...this is actually really hard. I've been trying to write this all night but every time i've just broke down crying...there are no other words than i'm ashamed. i've let myself down so bad and not stayed true to my word.

I reached out this weekend to my friends and my girlfriend, i'm at that point where I'm so desperately unhappy and need to undo AGAIN everything i've done so wrong.

Remember all these blogs last year when i kicked ass and did so well....gone to waste... i've been working so much and stressing about that i've ate and ate and ate and not taken care of myself, no one bit of exercise and now i'm back to square one...too afraid to weigh myself...too scared to face the truth,face the numbers.

I went to watch a friend play hockey this weekend, it was my sport when i was younger and i was itching to get on the field and get stuck in, but i cant , i cant even go to the gym because i'm so ashamed and embarrassed i dont want everyone looking at me seeing how badly i've failed.

But I made a pact and i'm going to do it it, i want to do it and i need to face my fears otherwise i'm just going to fall deeper and deeper. No more baking cakes to make myself feel better, no more secret eating or trying to hide behind my jokes and smiles because i'm not happy, i'm miserable and I dont want to be this way anymore.

i want my life back

Tuesday, 23 November 2010

I'm Only Human

Tuesday 23rd November 16 st 13 ...2 st 11 /39 lbs loss

WOW its been a while since I've been on here and well as you can see my numbers have gone up instead of down it's been a tough few months to the point I ended up having a mini nervous breakdown and nearly did something very very stupid but luckily a very special person helped me get help and now months later I'm the new improved Emma and dealing with things in a healthier way. Its been really emotional and at times it felt impossible but to go through all that and come out the other side is great.I've had great support from friends family and my amazing girlfriend.

I'm back in the gym and its not feeling like a chore. I'm doing 45 minutes cardio and a 10 minute stretch session and upping the intensity each day. I'm eating really well, I am strict mon - fri saturday is a less strict day and sunday is back into it. I've re read all my blogs and its giving me that little extra push. I know some people probably think why do I put my heart and thoughts down on here for the world to see, well I guess it's therapy for me and keeps me on track and keeps me motivated to try harder but also if just one person who reads this and gets inspired then that makes me happy.

I'm proud of my achievements and i'm so ashamed i've slipped back a little but you know i'm only human and i'm doing my best to get back on track and keep on my path to reach my goal.

see you same time same place next week

Sunday, 29 August 2010

The milestone

Sunday August 29th 15st 12 lbs - 3st 12/54 loss

Extremely happy right now that milestone has finally gone!! GET IN!! getting back down to business has been tough, went to leeds festival and ate a lot of noodles and rice and rice crackers going to go to the gym tomorrow to get back into the swing of things.

Feeling a lot more positive about being back on track and taking care of myself, i think sometimes that's half the battle really.

this is short and sweet just like me lol

Friday, 20 August 2010

Drum roll pleeeeeeeaaaassseee

Friday 20th August 16st 2 - 5 loss this week 3 st 8/ 50 lbs total weight loss

Back on track my lovelies, I have this new focus right now, really taking care of myself and getting to the root of why I do some of the things i do including my eating habits, think thats gonna really help me a lot.

I ran a 5k last sunday...ok walked 1k ran 4 i did it in 39.19 ,not the best time in the world but not too bad considering the old hammy injury. Cant wait to get that time down.

Oh and yes a size 16 jacket was bought this week. It really made me so happy and i'm just relishing getting the weight down even further.

50 lbs......thats a small child or a victoria beckham and as she would say that;s major!!!!

Friday, 13 August 2010

Friday 13th

Friday 13th August – enough said lol

16st 7 lbs – 3 lb gain since last weigh in whenever the hell that was!

Ok so its some kind of miracle that ive only put three pounds on because I’ve ate bad, can’t blame anyone but me, I’ve had no desire to eat well or exercise or anything else, and ive found myself just eating rubbish because I’ve had nothing else to do.

Routine clearly keeps me on track so its time to build that routine back. Nothing like a swift kick in the pants to get you motivated…all I’m saying is all the single ladies all the single ladies. Ive sounded like a broken record the last few blogs and I’ve just let myself down so majorly from doing so well to being so so bad, I’m luckily my gain wasn’t much worse. BUT I’ve got a bike now and let me tell you its getting used to the max, I’m even gonna ride to work too.

I’ve took on a second job so that will keep me occupied…one slight problem I’m selling pies at old trafford, so its gonna be torture to the max, they give you a snack pack with crisps chocolate and a sandwich, im just gonna eat before the games me thinks.

Ive got my 5k on Sunday so hopefully I finish in a half decent time and don’t do too much damage to my hamstring, I’m gonna stretch so good before it.

Everyone keeps saying I need to look at how well I’ve done but I still feel like a failure as Ive been in 16st for so many months, I need to focus and get into the 15’s quick smart, I’m dying to be in size 16 clothes. Only one way it’s gonna get done…Em’s going hardcore

Tuesday, 13 July 2010

No birthday blues for me

July 13th 16st 4 - 3 st 6/48 lbs loss

Woohooo back to the lightest ive been in years in the words of that fat ass ronald mcdonald...i'm lovin it!!

Tomorrow I’m 32, this time last year I was over 3st heavier…what an achievement hey! This weeks not been too bad done some gym sessions and spent the weekend volunteering at race for life events unloading vans, carrying tables and generally running around like a mad woman, it was great fun but I was exhausted (and sunburned) by Sunday night.

I have such a sweet tooth at the moment, I’m tricking it with mints instead of the usual chocolate cravings, its been much easier cooking because of the weather, I know I’m definitely back on track as I made four batches of shortbread and didn’t even want a piece. I’m forcing myself to eat breakfast now and bran flakes aren’t half as bad as I remembered although I prefer them with yoghurt rather than milk. I’m hoping to get down to my mini target in the next few weeks, I really want to be down into the next stone and hopefully it means a new dress size, I cant remember the last time I could buy a size 16 its been a good wow maybe 3 or 4 years.

Wednesday, 7 July 2010

And the beat goes on

Wednesday 7th July 16 st 8 4lb gain since last weigh in

First of all i apologise to myself for letting me down and being weak and not sticking to the diet, secondly I apologise to all 6 of you who read this if you ever find a little inspiration from reading this, i've let you down too.

Ive been slacking a lot and ate really bad but have been back on track and lost 2 this week....i'd put 6 pounds on how bad is that? i've just pictured my heroine Sue Sylvester shouting at me through the mega phone and thats got me on track, plus I re read all my blogs this week and thats made me realise how hard i've been working the past 6 months and how pathetic it is to give it up for a pizza or chinese or doritos.

I have a lovely new girlfriend whos keeping me on my toes, she's at the gym too now and has lost 2 st since we've been seeing each other, it's lovely to have someone who's going through this with me. Plus I have my ace trainer Kelly whos been wicked and keeps being enthusiastic even when I've not been.

WARNING WARNING: if you're in the stretford area over the summer and don't wish to be drowned by a whale steer clear from stretford leisure centre because the Gside is hittin the pool!! Feeling slightly nervous of how my rotund physique will be stared at in the pool but hey i'm there to get in shape not be in a pagent.

That's alllllll folks!!

Tuesday, 15 June 2010

back on track

June 15th 16st 4 lbs - 3 st 6 (48 pounds lost so far)

HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN!! I lost the 2 I put on plus one extra for good luck, I'm loving that.

No real words of wisdom this week kiddos I'm in pain picked up a bit of a bug so feeling all achey and crap. Ive rediscovered my love for Skinny Cow Ice cream i forgot how low fat they were so that will be a lil treat for me every now and then.

I've been volunteering at race for life events and its made me realise you have to grab life with both hands and go for what you want, and thats why I'm staying on this path to getting healthier and physically fit. I truly want to be in shape and give my body a fighting chance.

The physio is going good, it still hurts really bad but i know im getting better because im allowed to attempt light jogging, and i can move without wincing in pain anymore, the man has magic hands (no smutty comments please)

So thats my update I hope you're all doing well ladies and gents

see you next week!!

Monday, 7 June 2010

This is my confession

June 7th 2010 16 st 7 lb - 3st 3lbs loss - 2lb gain in 2 weeks

I have a confession, i'm a slut!! Ive been cheating on gym with bread chocolate and ice cream!!

So its not been the best few weeks really, I haven’t ate particularly great, mixture of stress and sheer laziness, being out my proper gym routine is really not helping, I’d got so used to my routine and now it’s all out of whack…..uggggh MUST…..DO…..BETTER!!

My physio is going really well and I can exercise again lightly so gotta love that I guess, I’m sorry I’m not feeling very motivational right now, pretty much dreaded the scales this week but I know I can undo what I’ve done and I must stay on track because I’ve still got such a long way to go yet. Someone give me butt kicking please!!!

Monday, 24 May 2010

whoever said.....

May 24th 2010 16st 5 lbs 3 st 5 loss in total

Whoever said no pain no go gain is a complete bastard......just sayin!!

So the endless cycle of not being able to train and being in pain is killing me, i'm a royal snappy stroppy bitch at the moment. I saw my physio on wednesday and for all you men loving ladies out there you'd LOVE him....but picture this...I being of the gay told to strip down to my underwear by this toned god like male creature and them him stretching and bending me in positons worthy of the karma sutra and THEN massaging my back (ok fine) my Legs (ok) My thighs and hamstrings (feeling a liiiitle uncomfortable) AND ARSE (ok very mortifying!!)

So it turns out my pulled hamstring is an effect of my back problem!! I slipped a disc on 2002 and have always had these twinges and my new found weight loss and working out way too much caused my arse to compensate for my back and so did my hammy ergo the hamstring is dead!!! I've still not decided to take the following as a compliment or as a bad thing....i have the tightest glutes he'd seen in years....yes my bum muscles were that tight he had to spend a lot of time there, i have the fingers shaped bruises on it to proove that and also all down my legs. JOYFUL!!

Ladies let this be a lesson to you. DO NOT OVER DO IT IN THE GYM! .......well not unless you want to spend ridiculous amounts on the god dude massaging you....actuallly you'll probably enjoy that....go pull a muscle or two and I'll see you next week!!

Monday, 17 May 2010

What a difference 16 weeks makes

May 17th 16st 6lbs - 3st 4lbs /46 lbs

Another painful week, still no proper gym sessions for me,the hamstring is knackered,another 4 weeks of resting it and sports massages that will hurt before they help....oooohh can't wait ....NOT!!! But it's all good because I'm still eating really healthy and the weight loss proves that. I'm a little surprised I thought it may slow down but it probably will next week I guess.

Major fashion news!!! (oh no she di'int...oh yes i did!) I'm shopping in any shop for a size 18! That is AMAZING!! I did a happy dance around M&S, this means H&M and River Island....just not just yet,pointless as I'm still losing weight spending all that money on those clothes.

I'm on track to get my mini target which is down to 16st by the end of june. I've got dory in my head saying just keep slimming just keep slimming.

Still looking for a gym buddy, i think my butchness scares the girls in the gym away lol ,if you;re from my gym and reading this say hi next time you see me.

Tuesday, 11 May 2010

My lovely lady lumps

Tuesday 11th May 16st 9lb 3 st 1lb/42 bs so far

Lost another pound this week which i'm extremely happy about, what i've been very pissy about is not being able to go to the gym, word of advice....when your trainer tells you to rest properly,do it! Don't think you're a premiership footballer that heals in 5 days,you're stil 16st odd and NOT in any shape like a footballer....oh and the magic sponge didnt work either!!

So ive now been away from the gym for a further week,my mood is shall we say less than perky! Had to do lots of ice and heat on it and fab jane fonda esque stretches.

Finally managed to comfortably be in my new work trousers and bought medium size polo shirts, the last time i saw medium was when I bought a warbies white loaf!!

Oh I have to say this:

hej grith!! tak for at l├Žse min blog ....yes thats right bitches I have foreign blog subscribers....ok its just my danish friend who lives about 5 mins away from me but I'm taking that as in international subscriber!!

Monday, 3 May 2010

The pleasure/pain theory

except its mainly just pain this week but here's the pleasure

Monday May 3rd 16st 10 lbs 3St/42 lbs lost!!!

Thats another milestone done and I'm really happy about it, i'm quite surprised actually as Ive not been to the gym due to pulling my hamstring....oh my god that is possibly the worst pain I've ever experienced, worse than any tattoo or piercing or watching Jedward performances on X factor. So its been ice stretches and resting, I've been a royal bitch all week as I had 4 days rest from the gym.

Swicthed up my food again, a few more carbs added with my dinner just a few potatoes or some pasta, different fruits (welcome back kiwis I did miss you! and sorry Mango i still call you mingo). I was asked to write a recommendation for my trainer for the gyms website which I happily did and not only did it make me realise how bloody well im doing but also how much Kelly really pushes me, I know I mention her a lot but she really pushes me through and keeps me going and if any stretford leisure women are reading this she's worth every single penny so book in some sessions with her ....oh and Hi too thanks for reading my blog!!

I get to slowly introduce running back this week,got to be careful not to over do it and cause more damage, but im really impatient and im on a roll, but i might not do so well next week as I lost big this week plus its star week. Oh joy!

Well thats it peeps, i'm not even sure if anyones reading this so I might just be talking to myself, first sign of madness!!! WONDERFUL!!

Monday, 26 April 2010

The eye of the tiger grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Mon 26th April 2010 17 st 0 lbs 2 st 10 gone

This is my biggest loser moment where I reveal that not only I have I lost 2 st 10 I have lost 13% of me!!! 13%
Sometimes when it gets really hard i need to remember these numbers and remember how well I'm doing.

So tonight my trainer put me on the gym new fitness test , i had 35 mins to do 1km run, 1.3 km cross trainer, 1.4 km cycling, 1400 m rowing and 20 press ups, i did it in 31.29 seconds!!!! Loving it!! Kelly looked genuinely proud that felt really good, she really supports me and pushes me and as much as I call her Hitler she's actually bloody brilliant and pushes me when I lose all will to continue .

Ive changed up my food a lot and thats really helped, still no Gordon Ramsey but it's nice food. Still waiting for some nice sports company to stumble across my blog and give me free sports bras and attractive lycra you realise how much these things bloody cost??? Its ridiculous!!!!

Monday, 19 April 2010

Its a fair result

Monday 19th April : 17st 2 lbs - maintained 2 st 8 loss

This is actually really good because I didnt work so well at the beginning of the week, i was too physically tired to train properly and then I didnt eat well on wednesday. I did make the fatal mistake of weighing myself wednesday but kind of glad i did because id put the 4 lbs on I'd lost last week,gave me a kick up the arse to do better!!

So this week I have mostly learned that, carbs are not my friend, I can run 35 minutes without dying of a heart attack and i most definitely need a new sports bra to keep my badboys strapped to my chest, I actually detest bra shopping, i'm not a fan of having to get measured, dont like anyone touching my boobs apart from the lady i'm dating, plus i don't want to be told that each breast i sstill this size of a small childs head, i know this is true as my nephew was using one of my bras as a hat the other day...not mortifying in the slightest,honestly.

Also learned my finances are not good so I have to cut my training session with hitler...i mean Kelly down to once a month. Really gutted, but it's either eat or train and as much as losing weight rapidly appeals to me I better do it the healthy way.

Cracked open my mate nics recipe book she gave me, its been a complete godsend and im not eating the same thing all the time now, and yeah I think I'm gordon ramsey but I'm really not in the slightest, I could burn a salad.

Monday, 12 April 2010

the biggest loser

Monday April 12th: 17 st 2 lbs .... 2 st 8 / 36 pounds gone!!!

My name is Emma...and i'm a loser and so proud!!! The weight loss is going super de duper and ive had to by smaller clothes, they didnt appreciate my baggy hammer pants at work, how rude!! You know what else is rude? My monthly outgoings...I'm having to cut down on my training sessions with my fab trainer because, well otherwise I cant afford to eat!, I tried to juggle somethings around but food has to win, i know i wanna lose weight but I dont think starvation is the way to do it do you ?

Ive been working hard on the new training programs and increasing my running, in my mind i'm paula radcliffe, except i dont nod my head when i run or pee in the street...dirty bitch!! My ipod is my sanity in there and well my distraction from shouting at people who dont use the machines properly, i think im turning into a grumpy old woman but some people in the gym really annoy me grrrrr

Easter came and went and i had to resort to sniffing an easter egg seen as i couldnt eat the bugger!! i like my hardcore ways, its all or nothing and well if I want to get to my summer target Ive gotta step it up a gear.

Monday, 5 April 2010

And thats how Sue C's It!

Monday April 5th
Weight: Well i'm not sure

The weighing machine I usually use wasn't working n the gym so i went on the regular scales and according to them i'm 17st 6 Lbs so thats one off so i'll take that for now, just hope they're working again next week so I can weigh properly.

Its been a good week, I was off work Thursday and Friday so missed my usual 9 floors of stairs but I did have a training session and the new work out programs are killer, I'm actually full on running at 9.8, thats probably not fast to some of you runners out there but to me thats pretty much like olympic standard right now and I'm going for gold.

Went to London at the weekend was as strict as I could be for some meals then had noodles for dinner with prawns and veggies for dinner one night and then chilli and rice for lunch but still kept up with all the fruit and ryvitas and water.

I got such a funny look of the women at the cinema when i refused her creme eggs she was offering me. I just thought listen lady because I'm big doesn't automatically want your chocolatey goodness. Easter bloody sucks, ususally i'd be tucking into atleast a dozen easter eggs but nope not this year.

Highlight of the week was trying to find an outfit to go out in last night only to discover only 1 pair of jeans pass as still wearable as the others are just way too big, i did not want to do the baggy jeans round my arse thing, it's so not a good look lol! I've finally got used to the just drinking water when I'm out in a bar, not even tempted by the alcohol anymore, still had an amazing night with my friends, I did my non dance dance of nodding my head and trying to look cool, really don't think it worked though.

if anyone knows anyone getting rid of any size 18 clothes please can they throw them in my direction, really cant afford a whole new wardrobe yet

And finally in other news..... Sue Sylvester is keeping me going in the gym, everytime I think about failing there she is shouting in my ear with that megaphone........Being fat is not a disease its a disgrace.....and that's how sue c's it!!

Monday, 29 March 2010

I really wanna lose three pounds!!

Thank you Regina george for the best quote ever!!

Monday March 29th:17 st 7 lbs
That's right I'm back once again with the renegade master....or in other words I'm back on track. I lost 5 pounds this week, Thats 1 for the gain last week and and extra 4 for the hell of it. Total weight loss so far 31 lbs or 2st 3 lbs in english money.

It feels like one of these moments right now ........ GET INNNNNNNNNNNNN!!! Felling fabuloso again happy to report I'm doing well, I didnt kill anyone with my caffeine withdrawals although I think they're sick of hearing me say I want a coffee. I cut down to one banana a day instead of two and no fizzy drinks at all, plus the 18 flights/9 floos of stairs up and down are helping along with the gym work outs.

big test this weekend was watching my housemate run around a foootie pitch with a bunch of lesbians and watching them tuck into chips pizza sandwiches and sausage rolls after......TORTURE??? erm YES!!! The food part not the football part!

My trainer made me smile during one of my session instead of my usual secret desire to kill her for the pain she puts me through an hour every Saturday. She walked past me in the gym cos she didn't recognise me, apparently my shape has changed,yahoo!!

So I'm off to London on Friday but I'm not ruining all my hard work, hell no, I've worked way too hard, I'm not drinking and i'm gonna eat as sensible as possible, would really like to lose 3 pounds or more next week.

Off to Asda now to buy up heir quorn,ryvita mini and veggie supplies.

Till next time

Thursday, 25 March 2010


It's just like the lottery mid week draw....but no one wins any money..or infact anything

You know your past eating habits were bad when Pizza hut text you to remind you you've not ordered in a while.....i must have really hurt them financially,i hope no one lost their jobs because I decided to take care of myself.

It's been a good week so far,back to full running again and managed to do two full treadmill session without my knee strap on (insert smutty lesbian joke here). My bestie got me an ace cooking book and she showed me how to make quick sauces for stir fry and pasta for after my gym sessions. Love you Nic x Having a chef for a bestie ROCKS!

So I decided to start taking the stairs instead of the lift in the mornings and evenings, we're on the 9th floor. Monday 3, Tuesday 4, wednesday 5, today 9!! I managed to crawl to my desk and die after doing 9 floors. Its a big IN YO FACE to the lazy bitch who get's the lift to the FIRST FLOOR!!! How lazy is that? Even when I was much bigger I could still manage one floor.

Looking forward to my training session this week,must apologise to Kelly for kicking her in the face last week, totally accidental I promise, I don't dislike our sessions that much, my co ordination is just that bad.

Monday, 22 March 2010

Why this is a journey

March 22nd:17 st 12 lb
Today is a learning curve, I put on a pound, I don't know how but I did. Ive eaten all the right foods and exercised all week. It wasn't helped by the fact my wonderful lovely trainer says no more caffeine, I've been a bitch all day to anyone within a three mile radius of me, and if you're one of the unfortunate ones I was rude to I'm really sorry I didn't mean it!

This is a journey and there are many destinations along the way, todays destination is perseverance,determination and will power. As much as I wanted to to cry and go scoff my face with a whole bunch of donuts and a pizza, I got back on the treadmill, i did my bike session and i even kicked ass on the torturous Cross trainer twice.......WHY? Because I want to win this battle that's why.

I'm sick of being a big fat lesbian who wears blokes clothes because i feel more comfortable in them, I wanna have a hot bod and feel amazing.So that's what I'm gonna do. Keri Hilson sings when love knocks you down just get back up when it knocks you down....well I am my new love and today I knocked myself down but I'm up again and carrying onwards and upwards.

Its really weird because last week I felt thinner and felt good but now I just feel as big as I did the day I started this whole journey. Isn't it mad how your mind does that to you?

Sorry for being so down today kids....normal service will resume next week.!!

Saturday, 20 March 2010

Taking the BIG step

So i've been writing this blog for a while now and finally decided to publish it last night and I just wanna say thanks for all the positive feedback I've been getting, thanks for your support guys.

One thing I will make very clear is i'm my own worst critic, I have no one to blame but myself for getting into this physical state I was in and it had to take my own self belief to kick start my fat ass into gear.

On a lighter note, because that was getting waaaaaaay too serious, I got my arse handed to me on a plate by my trainer today who by the way will be reading this, Hi Kelly, and yes I stick to my original statements you're like hitler or a real bad ass seargent major...but if you weren't i wouldn't be doing as well. Today involved a lot of stretching and step work, i think i have the hips of an old lady as they were killing so much, i should listen to them because as the great shakira says the hips don't lie! Maybe I just need a new mattress on my bed,it's not the best.

Something really weird has happened to me, I think I'm Forrest Gump, I want to run EVERYWHERE, to the gym from the gym, to the shops.This madness has to stop. Exercise has done something very funny to me. I used to laugh at the great Elle Woods when she says exercise produces endorphins and endorphins make you happy (well legally blonde IS really funny anyways) and she's right they do.

Looking forward to getting weighed on Monday now, I like seeing those numbers fall.

Friday, 19 March 2010

The beginning .......

Confessions of a foodaholic – aged 31 and 2 quarters

I love food I’m not kidding I could eat morning noon and night and well that’s exactly what I’ve spent the last few years doing. I spent 18 months slimming and getting myself into amazing shape to throw all the good work away on beer, vodka red bulls, curry, name it I’ve consumed it!

After spending most of 2008 and 2009 in Houston I actually became the states slogan….everything’s bigger in Texas…including the fatty writing this.

It had to stop at some point, I’ve had enough of being so big I can’t fit into airplane seats comfortably ,can’t walk up stairs without wanting to keel over, can’t see the tattoos on my stomach for the rolls of fat in the way, they’re probably just a big splodge now anyways.

So I’ve gone in all guns blazing and joined the gym. This I’m pretty sure is worse than any prison sentence ever. The mortifying thought of my fat ass bouncing around on the tread mill as the whole gym shakes is motivation in itself to keep going and lose that weight ASAP. The gym is my love/hate relationship, I’ve got the typical mentality of I love it when I get there but I absolutely detest dragging myself there. Partly due to the fact I have a complete complex that everyone is staring at me, when in reality the girls are checking out the lads who are too busy checking themselves out in the mirror to see how big their guns look.

So I’ve decided to keep a diary this time of my new adventure, this might be entertaining to read in a few months time.

Jan 1st 2010

Weighed myself 19st 10 …ate pizza to make myself feel better…and chocolate and cake.

Feb 5th

Joined the gym and decided my health is way more precious than any dominos pizza two for Tuesday deal


Actually braved the gym today and it wasn’t so bad, the women only gym is quite entertaining for several reasons. One being when I walk in theres a 19 plus stone short haired lesbian bounding through the door, I can see the panic on the women’s faces. Secondly my complete disgust of 17 year old girls who’s clothing and footwear is clearly fashion not function…apparently lip gloss is also a must on the treadmill.

Feb 11th

Dear chocolate, I miss you, I’m so upset we’ve split up but I could no longer live a lie, I’m seeing someone called gym and he really doesn’t like you, secretly I want to come back to you but I know gym is right. I will always treasure all the good and bad times you got me through but for now I must bid you goodbye.

Can I just say that activia yoghurts are the most tasteless thing I’ve ever had in my life. And also Kate moss said nothing tastes as good as skinny feels…she’s clearly never had a Gregg’s pasty!!

Must admit I have no clue why I was dreading eating fruit and veg so much, I actually really enjoy them, I’m really going for it I ordered my George foreman grill and a crock pot slow cooker, Good times ahead, good times lol.

I’m actually going to weigh myself again tonight, this I’m pretty scared of but it has to be done so I can actually measure how well I’m doing. I made a shopping list and I’m writing down all the things I’ve avoided all the past few years, Gillian mckeith would be so proud.

Random thought: just because they’re called skinny jeans doesn’t mean they make you skinny

Feb12th: Weight 19st 1lb …get in ! That’s 9 lbs gone so I am making progress even if it is slow. Gym session killed me today but I kept at it, I think the cross trainer in the women’s gym should be used as a torture device for prisoners, it’s horrible but with the help of the black eyed peas on my ipod I got through it!

Feb15th: The valentines weekend was great and I didn’t over eat at all, although did have a Mc d’s breakfast on Sunday other than that I was well behaved, I even turned down chocolate….ME!!!!! That’s a first. I’ve even managed to block the chocolate machine in the staff room out of my mind, that’s not an easy task when a Twix has been my breakfast for so long. Activia yoghurts are a thing of the past; Muller light yoghurts are my new best friend. The girl I'm dating made me a salad for lunch for work on Monday. My slow cooker cook book arrived today, loads of ace recipes which I can’t wait to try out, just need the slow cooker now. My George machine arrived so I can crack on with that too, happy days!! I’m reading this back and thinking Em you’re a sad sad girl you’re getting excited for electronic equipment…that should only ever occur if it comes from Anne Summers, not George Foreman!!

Gym time again tonight I’m going to be tortured on the machine from hell. I Must learn how to step of the damn thing gracefully…well as gracefully as you can at my size. Oh and I’m away from the office tomorrow and the boss has booked us in at an American diner for lunch. I want to cry!!! I will be good!


Day out was ok had salad and a bagel for lunch and grilled chicken and veggies for tea, was very nice. Cant believe I sat in a 50s diner and didn’t order burger and fries GO ME!I even made shortbread and didn’t even eat that, I’d usually inhale a whole tray of it myself

Feb 17th:

Really don’t feel very well today, going to attempt the gym but I just want to collapse in bed and die, think my boss has given me her lurgy which I could have done without just as I’m getting into the swing of things. Weighing myself tonight as I’m out tomorrow for a concert. Dying to go buy all the veggies for my slow cooker so the stews and soups can begin.


19st 2lb …. I put a pound on!!! All that gym work grrrrr am going to get even stricter with the food. I’m spurred on by the fact a so-called friend says I’ll only last 9 weeks doing this so I’m about to prove her wrong. I do love a good challenge. Note to anyone in my life reading this do not piss me off and tell me I can’t or won’t do something because it makes me even more determined. No gym tonight as I’m off to see lady gaga, maybe I could run up and down the arena steps a few times in a balboa styleee, very entertaining for those watching and very healthy for me. Some of the lads at work suggested I do the 11 flights of stairs in work at a lunch time, think I might just start doing that too, time to kick it up another notch. I did go from level 5 to 7 on the bikes at the gym and felt good for doing it so think im gonna step that up a level too, I’m in the zone writing this right now, must be the decaf coffee and diet coke talking lol


I’m beyond tired today due to lady gagas concert running late. I’m tired and I’m hungry and I really want a bacon sandwich with lashings of tomato sauce…but instead I’m having a fat free strawberry yoghurt. I will win the fat fight. I have to some how muster the energy to go to the gym tonight too. Going to just grab my bag and head straight there, if I mess around in the house I’ll make some excuse not to go and that’s not gonna help me lose any weight. Read an article online yesterday of a woman who went around in a 20st fat suit to see how the larger ladies coped with shopping and she came to the same conclusion as me. Shops that seller larger women’s clothes think we want to dress as follows: we are in our 50’s ,like we are wearing a tent, that we all love sparkles because theres nothing like drawing even more attention to the fact that we’re fat, we all love animal prints, that because we are wider also means we are also just as tall. All of those statements can go kiss my fat ass.

Feb 22nd:

19st 1lb

What an eventful weekend. I did manage to get to the gym on Friday although it almost killed me as I was so tired, Saturday and Sunday I managed to go too, so very proud. Saturday was a true test I took the kids to the cinema and didn’t have a thing went to restaurant afterwards and had grilled chicken salad and a diet coke, yes i know go me!! I didn’t even drink on the night out on Saturday and I think I actually enjoyed my night more.

And just to top the weekend off I finished seeing the girl i was dating, that would normally lead to a massive pizza and chocolate binge but this time I opted for salt and vinegar ryvita minis, a diet cherry coke and a blasting of Whitney Houston’s it’s not right but it’s ok. I think it’s just spurring me on even more to do better. Now I’m doing this for me AND to say a big “in yo face” when I’m looking all bootylicious. I’ve found a new way to keep me in the gym, glee on my ipod, I’ve loaded up episodes to watch while I’m in the cardio zone lets just hope I don’t fall off the treadmill backwards whilst busting a move to single ladies.

March 2nd:

18st 12lb

That’s right bitches I’m into the next stone!!! GET IN!! I spent most of last week ill so didn’t go to the gym but still ate really well. Used the slow cooker and made casserole and that went down a treat lol. I went to the gym last night and weighed myself before I went in there, so glad I did it spurred me on to kick it up another level on the machines. My clothes are becoming a little bit baggier which is ace, just not a dramatic change yet, that’s a while off for sure, but hey I’m keeping going. To my so called friend who said I wouldn’t keep it going IN YO FACE!!!! I have a testing weekend coming up as I am dining out Friday and Saturday so need to be careful really, going to make smart choices.

March 3rd:

I just want to confirm there was not an earthquake in Manchester last night it was indeed me running on a treadmill!! For 12 mins…non stop…at 7.5!! ME!!! I still can’t believe it myself, I was too scared to run because I though the machine would break under my weight But I’m so glad I did it. Ive decided to enter a 5 mile fun run in May…theres nothing fun about killing yourself for charity but hey I’m gonna do it anyways!!!

March 5th:

Ive been at the gym again the past two days and managed to run again, BEST GYM SIGHTING EVER….. two 14/15 year old girls on the treadmill in converse pumps and baggy ass trackies that they had to hold up as they attempted to run, hop and moonwalk on the treadmill, whilst wear push up bras that became push out bras whilst drinking …FULL FAT DR PEPPER….scally gym rats…I SALUTE YOU!

I think I’m liking this…did a mini fashion show last night, managed to fasten my fave shirts that I’ve not been able to get in for ages. That feeling is so good. This is my testing weekend, I’m out tonight and tomorrow night, gonna do my best to stay on track, im at gym both days anyway just gotta control what I eat at the best curry house ever on Saturday!!

March 9th

18 st 3lbs

Yes that is not a typo I lost 9 lbs this week!!! I actually can believe it because I worked so hard in the gym and my eating has been very healthy, I didn’t over do it at the meal on Saturday so I think that helped too. It’s made me feel extra enthusiastic about the gym.

Had my first full session with my trainer on Saturday 25 minutes of spinning hell, I wanted to throw up, I almost did, so not a good look!! Then did more cardio then weights and the session killed me but I know its worth it, Sunday I did my training plan and followed suit yesterday but my left knee is really sore, managed 10 mins on the treadmill before it was wanting to give way so I’m banned from running today, I’m not happy but I understand why. My trainer said maybe it’s your trainers, maybe its cos you’ve not done it in a while and I just said orrrr maybe its because i weigh what I do and you shouldn’t be running when you’re my weight. She said Im too brutal on myself but lets face facts, I’m 18st 3lb that’s not even just fat that’s obese!! My body fat percentage is 47% that is not healthy at all, so im gonna continue to work hard and get that down as much as I can now I know I’ll never be a professional athlete who has 10% but getting down in late 20’s early 30’s will be good. It’s a long road ahead but its gonna be so worth it.

I’ve got one friend in particular who is an absolute angel she really keeps me motivated, I don’t know what I’d do without her, well I do I’d be sat at home eating dominos pizza family deals to myself, listening to Celine dion records, feeling miserable, drinking several corona’s and eating myself into an early grave.

And I know you read this so I just want to say Thank you because I really appreciate what you do for me, I wouldn’t have gone to the gym half the amount I have done if you hadn’t kicked my behind into gear!!

March 15th

Tonight’s the night when I get weighed, it kind of makes me feel like the xfactor contestants when they’re at judges houses and they’re waiting to find out if they’re in the top 3. I actually dread finding out the result but I really wannabe in Cheryl’s 3…erm I mean lose some weight……….anywaysssss weekend was all good I went to the gym wearing my new trainers and knee support and got back into running again. My trainer was worse than any army sergeant major I must remember to keep my mouth shut and not say I hate her because she just wants to put me through more pain, it is entertaining though, who knew exercising would be so much fun.

I think I might slowly be turning into one of those really annoying gym bunnies that I detest so much, the ones who REALLY enjoy exercise. I blame gym; he stole my heart from my chocolate love affair….the bastard!!

March 16th:

17st 11lb

Another 6 pounds gone, I’m in cheryl’s 3 woohoooo! This is actually the best feeling to know I’m in another stone, adios 18 it was very nice knowing you. My work trousers will soon be resembling hammer pants (80’s reference kiddos). But I don’t want to go shopping yet, maybe in another 7 lbs time. I don’t think I’ll keep losing at this rate much longer but it’s nice while it’s happening! It’s giving me a new found confidence, I actually FEEL GOOD!!! I’m smiling on Mondays and have a spring in my step, I think I MIGHT be annoying my co workers a little bit but it’s tough really, they’re gonna have to grin and bear it.

Set myself a mini target to be down to 16st by the end of June, If I can do that I will be happy.

Managed to run again in the gym the knee is doing ok, best thing about the gym last night…had it all to myself and my god did I sing, in between catching my breath and wanting to collapse, tip for any runners out there: play Kimberly Wyatt not just a doll followed by lady gaga ft beyonce telephone, and finally black eyed peas immabe they keep you motivated.